Dear Dumplin,
Moms worry all the time. We worry ALL THE TIME and about everything. One of the hardest challenges I’ve found about being a parent is balancing being protective and keeping you safe with letting you explore, learn, and grow. A parents worst nightmare is to not be with you, and something happen to you. I can’t imagine you getting hurt at a moment when I’m not around.
It’s a sad time in this country. Although it is 2014, people’s children are getting killed for no reason and sometimes at the hands of police officers. On August 5th 2014, a young man named John Crawford was shot and killed while holding a toy gun in a Walmart. It is one of several instances of unarmed black people being shot and killed. It makes me worry incessantly. What kind of world will this be when you are old enough to go out on your own? Will you be safe? Will your family members be safe? What happens when you start to date and you want to go out alone? Will you and your spouse be safe? I don’t have the answers to these questions and don’t even know where to begin to try to help solve them.
I want to see you grow and flourish. I want to see you go to college, get married, and have children. God willing, you will see your children have children. I struggle with what to communicate to you (when you are old enough) and how to have tough conversations. Your father and I work very hard to raise you in a house with a yard. We want you to have room to run and play. We want you to have everything we can give you. But economic resources are only a fraction of what makes a happy and healthy childhood and this sad situation in Ferguson, Missouri is an example of that. I feel so much pain for this family and the entire community. To say that there is now civil unrest is an understatement. I’ve seen videos of the police with dogs and tear gas pointed at protestors of this boy’s murder. The police are shooting people with rubber bullets. It’s horrible.
I worry and pray. Then I pray some more. There is a saying that worry is praying for what you don’t want. So I’m working on that. I only want to pray for what I do want. I do want you to live a long, healthy, happy life filled with joy and love. I want you to have the freedom to accomplish your dreams in a safe environment. And I never want you to see or experience anything like what the names of the people and families listed above have.
Love,
Mama