Dear Dumplin,
I find myself struggling with what to tell you. Not because I don’t have anything to say but the opposite is true! One thing keeps popping up in my mind: Where has the Sista Luv gone?
What is Sista Luv you ask?
Sista Luv is treating other women with love and respect.
You will come across women that you may not like. This does not give you the right to mistreat them just for entertainment purposes. You should never be mean to a person just because you can. Unfortunately, I find that this is becoming the norm and what made me think to talk to you about this.
The current trend on T.V. is reality shows. They follow people around in their every day lives. The problem is that in order to keep people entertained, some sort of conflict usually has to arise. Conflict is normal in life. There will be problems that need to be solved. My concern is that the conflicts that get the most attention, and therefore the most ratings, usually involve women tearing each other to pieces physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Just because a person can be mean does not mean a person should be mean. In the past few weeks there have been widely watched shows that end up with women physically fighting or saying the MOST disrespectful and hurtful things to one another. I hope that you never take part in any of this or fall victim to any of it. If you find yourself in a situation where you are tempted to act out of character, remove yourself from the situation.
Also, I want you to know that arguing is normal. Having disagreements with people is normal. It is absolutely ok to speak up for yourself. Not only should you not allow yourself to be bullied, but you should not be a bully to others. There is an art to knowing how to treat people and it’s a skill I hope I am equipped to teach you.
Maintaining friendships is vital. You must let your friends know you love them often. I like to say that friends are family you chose. You can’t choose your family members but you can choose your friends. When you are trying to figure out what to do or say, think about how you would like to be treated. Would you like it if someone said that to you? Would you like it if someone treated you that way. Compassion is always valuable and expected from any child of mine.
I promise all of my letters to you won’t be so serious. But, I wanted to express this to you because I know that the women in your life will be your champions, caretakers, protectors, and friends. Love them the way they love you. You won’t regret it.
Love,
Mama