Dear Dumplin,
I think there are moments in every person’s life where they wonder if they can go on, should go on, or wonder if the effort is warranted. I’m not talking about going on living, because everyone should stay alive until God decides it’s time for them to go home. No, I’m talking about going on and working towards a goal, continuing on a journey, pushing past exhaustion, and following the voice in your head that no one understands. You will have tired moments where you will need to rest. You may even stop. When that happens, pick yourself up and start again. When this happens and you feel down, listen to Lisa Nichols.
I had one of those moments recently. A moment of wondering what the next step would be. What should I be working for? What do I want to accomplish? Was there something else to accomplish or should I simply hold fast and maintain what I have now? Lisa Nichols snapped me out of it quick fast and in a hurry. To be honest, I was not looking for an answer. I stumbled on the below video and immediately knew that there was more work to be done.
It started when I talked to someone about my hopes for this blog. I expressed wanting to write more, wanting to talk about more topics, and being excited about the potential of what I could build for you. My excitement was promptly shut down. “You’re not going to make any money with that blog! That’s a grind I wouldn’t wish on anybody. You might as well focus on something else!”
These comments sent me into a mental tail spin. Was I really wasting my time? Should I keep writing? I went around and around in my head about this way too long. Months. MONTHS. I spent months of wondering and feeling bad because someone questioned my progress. Here’s what I realized and what snapped me out of my funk.
- I didn’t start writing to you for money! I started writing this blog because I wanted to speak to you. I wanted to express my thoughts as they happened. I wanted to have real conversations about life with you now before everything I want to express to you turns into a blur. Life moves fast and people always think they have more time than they really do. Money was not a part of my purpose for starting this blog.
- Sometimes you just need to keep your mouth shut and do what God tells you to do. I know in my heart that I’m supposed to be talking to you. As soon as I started listening to people who don’t know what’s in my spirit, I became shaken to my very core. Not their fault because I asked. I need to learn to stop asking people questions that they can’t possible give me the answer to.
- Following my joy should always be my compass. Over these last few months I would think about things to write to you about and stop myself based off of someone’s silly comments. Then I would miss the process of expressing myself to you. As I write this, your birthday is a month away. You will be four years old. Yes, you are young but I look at your face and I think where did the baby go? She’s reading, doing yoga, and learning Spanish! This is insane! It doesn’t make sense to stop myself from loving you because that’s really what this blog is. Me expressing my love and dreams for you.
So there you have it pumpkin. I think I got the message now. Below is the video from Lisa that pushed me back to blogging.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8x_lSBL1bBc
Until my next post… Because there will be a next one.
Mama