A Woman’s Gifts According to Iyanla Vanzant

Dear Dumplin,

When we left off, I told you that Iyanla Vanzant wants women to take care of their minds.  This is such a simple yet powerful concept.  It is vital to understand.  As you go through life, dysfunction can snow ball and compound itself in a negative way.  As a result, you must “pause and take yourself into review.”  That’s another vital tip Iyanla told the audience.  Take time to “pause and take yourself into review” because it’s imperative that you don’t carry heartbreak from one generation to the next.  She continued by saying as women we have a different sense of responsibility.  Why? Because

When Ms. Iyanla said that, it hit me in my chest.  Let me say it again, “Our mind is a womb.  It brings life.”  As a woman you cannot be careless with your thoughts, your speech, your intentions, your time, or your life.  It all has powers and will create things, whether we intend them to or not.  Get careless or thoughtless and your mind will create careless and thoughtless circumstances.  Who wants that?  I don’t.  Take care of your mind Dumplin.  Monitor your thoughts.  Be intentional in the books you read.  Be intentional in the television you watch.  It all matters.

Then Iyanla went on to give advice for each generation and describe what their gifts to the world are.  She said each decade is a clan and we must know what our responsibilities are in each clan.

• In your 20’s, you are midwives to the teens.  They are looking at you to see what you are doing. Your gift to the world is joy!
• In your 30’s you are midwives to the 20’s.  Pull them through by living by example.  Your gift is birth!  Not just children but also ideas and businesses.  Your lesson is self-control.  Stop and see what you have birthed because you don’t want to take unlearned lessons into your 40’s.
• In our 40’s, you are midwives to all women because you can be a grandma at 40.  Your gift is demonstration.  Live your lessons with your head held high because “You ain’t a woman until you’re 40!”  In your 40’s, you become the hand maidens of God.  At this point, you have three responsibilities.  They are to dance, pray, and sing.  At this point you should also have a life song.  A life song is your own personal theme song.  It must be positive and uplifting.  You should memorize and sing it often.  Some of her suggestions were Living My Life Like It’s Golden,  I Am Not My Hair, and It’s My Time.  I don’t have a theme song of my own but am certainly going to start looking for one.
• In our 50’s, you are midwives to women in their 40’s.  Your gift is wisdom because you know what to do with it.  Your gift is also patience.  Your lesson is to seat “Her Majesty” and Her Majesty is you!  You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.  Your job is is spread light and not throw shade.  You can also say what you need to say in 10 words or less.
• In our 60’s, you are the midwives to women in their 50’s.  Your gift is that you are the proud, elegant, demonstrations of God.  Everybody in the room wants to make you happy and that’s the way it should be.  It now takes you 5 words or less to say what you need to say.  Sometimes it will only take a look.

Every decade is a new demonstration of womanhood to your 70’s, 80’s, 90’s and beyond.  She left us with two tips.  The first is to do our forgiveness now.  Don’t carry heartbreak from one generation to the next.  Let stuff go.  Lastly,

That part I already have and I thank God for all of my Sista friends.  They will tell me if I look crazy, act crazy, am on the right track, or need to start all over.  I love them for it!

If you are ever feeling lost on your womanhood journey, please read these notes from Iyanla Vanzant’s talk.  It will certainly be worth it.

Love,

Mama

If anyone is reading this, let me know what your clan is.  Have you accepted your gifts of that cycle of life?  Have you learned your lessons?  Have you done your forgiveness?  Do you like Iyanla’s advice?  I want to know!